Tuesday, April 12, 2011

NaPo 10 - WhatisthisIdon'teven-

Needs work. I guess that with 30 poems in a month, you have to expect a few bad ones. And I've still got 20 left. This is more daunting than I originally expected.

It just takes
half moments
half glances
half moons,
splinters in my
sides -

some days I just feel like
a book of really bad poetry
trying to be published,

written by some smaller me
just scribbling words, all
of which come out as

love me
love me
love me

It’s pretty bad,

but I guess she wasn’t.

Here I am, the product of
those poems, I carved them
and they sculpted me, and

we’re all pretty
rough around the edges, smudged

from those pencil lines; I can’t read
half of these.

When I was younger, looking up
from hours of writing to adjust my eyes
to the sun, I must have blinked at a future
different from this one, crisp and clear
in my mind’s eye.

I spent a lot of time pressed into
abandoned notebooks, written
impermanently because I was so
afraid of staying where I was

I figured that one day, there would be
moments I’d want to forget -

we all want to forget, make room
in our buzzing brains; I’ve got a beehive
filled with sweet and golden beauty,
and stingers,

poetry and

salvation and

a queen and
a drone,

work and

work and

love and
be loved -

some days I wish
that girl was gone,
that girl who wrote,
again and again,

hear me
get me
love me

like a buzzing mantra, like

She’s still blinking
into a future but

written in pen.


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